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5 Years Later: In Shadow’s Shadow; 9/11, Neil Gaiman, and me.

Five years ago, I wrote this piece about 9/11 and how it affected me. I think this year it is once again fitting to post as this year saw the release of Starz’s adaptation of Gaiman’s classic.

So without further ado, I give you my blog IN SHADOW’S SHADOW; 9/11, NEIL GAIMAN AND ME.

After the re-posting of this blog, I’ll embed a special video that fits the piece.


In the days before September 11, 2001 my family had much to celebrate. The adoption of my sister was finalized, we attended a wedding of a cousin in Colorado, and got to spend lots of time with family. During that trip I made it a point to make sure we stopped at a bookstore. I have always been kind of a book nut, so no one was surprised on that Sunday afternoon, September 9, when I walked out with two brand new books, an anniversary copy of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and a newer book that I had recently read a review of called American Gods. I was familiar with the author, Neil Gaiman, but not versed in his writings. This was to be my initial exposure.

On Monday, the 10th, I read Goldman’s book and fell in love with Buttercup and Wesley all over again. The Princess Bride is an American classic that never fails to spark my imagination. I probably watched the movie that evening, although I can’t remember for sure, but that is usually par for the course for me, read a book and if it’s available watch the movie. I know I did some prep work for auditions at Colby Community College the next day. They were doing the play Heaven Can Wait. If you don’t know that story, it’s about a boxer who dies before his time and is sent back into the body of a dying millionaire. He finds love and his world is changed.

I woke up Tuesday morning, September 11, and didn’t turn on the television. I’m a TV junkie, so this was a little weird for me. I didn’t turn on the radio, I didn’t have the internet in my little studio apartment, so there was no doing that. What I did do was pick up American Gods and begin to read.

American Gods is a “desert island” book for me. It’s a book I find challenging and inspiring and a true classic. It tells the story of a man, Shadow, who is released from prison a week early due to his wife’s untimely death. On his trip home, he finds himself being pursued and followed by a strange, older fella named Mr. Wednesday. Mr. Wednesday offers Shadow a job as his bodyguard. With really nothing left to live for, Shadow goes along for the ride. Along the way, while his zombie wife follows him and warns him, he discovers that the world he knew, isn’t what it seems.

American Gods is about the death of one world pushing against the on coming push of a new world. it’s about gods, myth, and magic. It’s about technology and its hold over us today. It’s about change. It’s about being lost in a world that is changing itself around us, reshaping itself, molding itself into something new and scary.

I read this book, all day, never once did my TV click on or did I tune in the radio. This would be betraying Shadow, and Mr. Wednesday, and Mr. Nancy, and Mr. Gaiman. I set, in a complete media blackout, while the world around me changed in a moment.

I went to auditions that night, which had been cancelled, and that’s when I found out, at 7pm CST, I found out what had happened. I, like everyone else, was in shock. Everything made sense now. The leaked words through thin plaster walls, dividing me from my neighbors, that “it looked like something out of Independence Day.” The lack of cars on the streets, the lack of activity anywhere. The fact that the radio station I worked for at that time, was airing the Presidents speech, when they hardly ever did things like that.

I felt like Shadow, lost in the shadows, not knowing what was going on. Lost, confused, shocked. I could take you to one of my “thinking spots” I went to that night. The place my friends Shane, Lacy, and Becca found me at. I can take you to the parking lot where the news was first delivered to me. I could show you the apartment we all went to and watched CNN, and Fox News, and Headline News, and CNBC and every other channel that was airing news. I could take you to the small Baptist church I went to and prayed. And even though I’m not a Baptist, it seemed like the thing to do.

I remember pouring over my Bible, looking for answers that didn’t come easily. Of drawing conclusions that probably weren’t there. The world around me had changed and I was fighting that change. I wanted to stay locked in a small bubble, in Shadow’s shadow, where maybe things weren’t safe but I couldn’t get hurt. Where I was forced to think, but not put thoughts into action.

Good literature forces us to think and to act. A life changing moment causes us to act and to think. For me those two worlds collided as a tower fell in New York City.

How has the world changed in 11 years? We’re a much more global society then we were then. As high speed and wireless internet has been developed along with cheaper, faster, more mobile computers and smartphones, more people are “online”. Information is passed along, thanks to social media sites, as they happen. In 2001, there was no global Facebook or Twitter. There were no smart phones and instant Instagram uploads. No YouTube. No Netflix. That’s life on a global, technological scale. What has happened to YOU personally in the last 11 years?

At the time, Shane, Lacy, and Becca were my best friends. My only friends. The 4 of us were almost inseparable. We went to church together, we went out to eat together, we were always at one another’s houses. We were hungry for a fresh spiritual awakening. And in the years that followed, we did grew up. They all three are married now, to wonderful, godly people. Becca has two beautiful daughters. Lacy quit her long time job and moved to a small town when she got married. Shane just bought a house. I floated from job to job working in various media jobs (radio and newspaper) and hospitality fields (hotel and restaurant). Last year, I lost my job and decided to go back to college. I rediscovered my love of acting and theater. I’ve been privileged to travel over the world. I’ve made new friends and reacquainted myself with some old ones. I’ve had a play published. I’m trying to make this writing/acting thing work for me while I juggle a job and schooling.

In many ways I’m in a similar place to where I was 11 years ago. Then I had just moved back to my home town and made some new friends and sparked an old friendship. Today I’m in a different town with probably as many friends, some new and some old. I didn’t act in Heaven Can Wait in the fall of 2001, I dropped out for personal reasons. I really wanted to do the fall musical here,  Curtains, but I didn’t get cast. That’s life though. In 2001 I was a scared 24 year old kid. Scared, not that terrorists had attacked us, but scared of change and what the meant. Now I’m a 35 year old man, and while I’m still scared of change, and I think we all are, I no longer fight change, I embrace it. And that, I think, would make Shadow proud.


Thanks for taking the time to read that. I know it’s different then what I normally and nominally blog about. But I couldn’t pass up the chance to reblog it.

Now, I’d like to present to you my short monologue, WARNING SHOTS, as performed by Jocelyn Goodwin.

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Warning Shots: A short monologue for young actors

What is this! Two blog posts in one week. What is this madness?

Well it’s been a productive week so far, in fact there may be another blog coming this week as well. You’ll just have to wait around and see won’t you?

Now, to get to the point of today’s posting. A couple of years ago, I saw an opportunity to write a short piece inspired by the American Civil War for a production in Washington DC. In response, I wrote Warning Shots. It is a dramatized retelling of the two attacks on Lawrence, KS before and during the Civil War; the first by “Border Ruffians” (pro-slavery supporters) the second by Confederate leader William Quantrill. In this monologuWare, a young girl named Aella (which means “whirlwind” in Greek and was the name of an Amazon warrior in Greek mythology) witnesses these attacks and tells her story and what she learned.

Warning Shots was performed originally by the EMU Theater company in Lawrence, KS in November of 2015 to great response. Since then, it has kind of sat on my shelf. But I recently asked the daughter of a friend to perform it for a recording. I then “sweetened”the recording and present it to you now.

Warning Shots performed by Jocelyn Goodwin, directed by William J Goodwin, produced and mixed by Everett Robert.

If you would like a copy of Warning Shots you can find it on my Scripts page, at New Play Exchange, or feel free to contact me directly. I am offering this script, FOR FREE to students, schools, and community theaters.

New Year, New Goals, New Shows

2016 has come to a close and 2017 has begun. In the past I’ve talked about how I’ve wanted to spend the new year blogging more, writing more, producing more content. I think I write a variation of this blog every year. this year, the goals are the same; blog more, write more, create more content.

Lets look at what I’ve written in the past year though. I adapted my play  #JohnDoe from podcast format to stage format and had it performed by my local theater, Hays Community Theater, in late April/early May. You can watch these (not very well recorded but still) performances on my YouTube page.

In late May/early June I worked on three new short plays; The Suicide Club (based on a story by Robert Louis Stevenson), A Knack For Living (a play set in the old west), and Moonlight (based on The Moonlight Road by Ambrose Bierce). At least two of these will be performed in the upcoming season of Sherri’s Playhouse, heard on the podcast Chatting With Sherri (the same podcast where Murder At Home and #JohnDoe premiered). In addition, I wrote some new 10-minute plays including Thoughts And Prayers in response to the Orlando shooting in June, which was performed in Kalamazoo, MI.

In December, I started work directing a new play for Sherri’s Playhouse as well, Sherlock Holmes and the Terror By Night Train. I came up with the story, my writing partner wrote the script, and I added in additional material. I’m really proud of this cast and can’t wait to share this story with you. It’s coming January 29th.

What does 2017 hold for me? I’m hoping to get Warning Shots, my monologue for young female actor, into the hands of some students for forensic competitions this year. I’d also like to get Superstar, a 10-minute two-hander, into some students hands as well. Both of these are available here on my website, along with some other free scripts. I’m working on an adaptation of the medieval poem The Owl And The Nightingale,  that I think would make for an interesting contemporary political themed piece.

Other goals include getting #JohnDoe into other theaters, seeing more productions of Tom Sawyer and Allie in Wonderland, getting a production of my adaptation of A Christmas Carol and continue writing about the arts and arts advocacy as needed.

So here is to more blogging, more writing, more content creation in 2017 (it probably won’t happen by the way 😉 )

ARToberFest

Many people have heard of Oktoberfest, a celebration of German, Volga, and Bavarian culture. It traditionally runs 16-18 days starting in mid to late September and ending around the first of October in Munich. Oktoberfest has since spread to several major cities and college towns. My own town, Hays, KS, has been celebrating for almost 40 years and coincides with Fort Hays State’s Homecoming celebration.

The month of October is also National Arts and Humanities Month, a time to celebrate the arts. As President Obama has said, “The arts embody who we are as a people and have long helped drive the success of our country.”

That’s why I am suggesting a change in October, instead of celebrating Oktoberfest (or in addition to), I want to encourage you to celebrate ARToberFest. See a play or a musical, write a play or a musical, read a book or write a book, read a poem or write a poem, draw or paint or visit an art gallery. Find a way this month to celebrate the arts. Then end the month with “All Hallow’s Read” and give away books with treats at Halloween.

@WordsPlayers #PlaywrightRespect and an open Letter

The following was posted in the comment section of the Words Players Facebook page, re: the recent controversory over their call for submissions.

There are some here who believe that the playwrights who have voiced our concerns have somehow “bullied” Words Players, Mr Driscoll, or their young actors and directors. I have been closely following the hashtag on Twitter and the @WordsPlayers twitter account and have seen snark but not bulling. We have not in any way threatened violence or made fun of you personally. We did not dox anyone or threaten to. We have not once, that I can find, attacked any of the young actors or directors. Many of us have stated, on Facebook, on Twitter, on Blogs, that our biggest concern is the education of these students. That we want everyone to treat playwrights with respect. In the original call, as it stood, many of us felt that we were not being respected, both by tone, word choice, and by the implication that our words would be changed with or without our permission. Mr Driscoll has graciously acknowledged that it could be read this way. But we still have questions and we still have concerns. I think just about anyone who has ever spent time in the theater has seen actors “go up” or have paraphrased because they either couldn’t be bothered to memorize or just couldn’t memorize. I have been involved in theater for a quarter of century. The majority of my life has been spent acting, writing, directing, producing, live theater. And most of that has been on the high school or collegiate level. I have worked in churches and in bars. And I’ve seen it happen. But just because it does happen does not make it right. As someone who has just finished directing a production of Legally Blonde, I strove every day to make sure that my young actors (most were between the ages of 16-22) got every word, word perfect. At one point there was some confusion, the book said one girl sang a part of a song, the score another. I contacted MTI and said, “hey we have a question here…” and they answered it within 24 hours and apologized for not answering it sooner. Does that mean we had a word perfect show? No. Because it happens. Bt my actors knew that was what I was striving for. In my training, I was taught “you aren’t the writer of this play, you cannot change the words no matter how much you want to.” And that has never limited my artistic ability to create something new and fresh and original. In my adaptation of Alice In Wonderland, I wrote “Hatter enters, sits down and the chair breaks. He tries to fix the chair” (that isn’t word perfect to the script btw I just don’t have it handy in front of me to copy and paste), when it was performed in Atlanta, I saw 2 minutes of some of the funniest physical comedy I’ve ever seen. That is not modification of the script, it is an interpretation.

There are those who have asked, why we have held this amateur theater to a professional standard. My first response is, don’t you want everyone to be treated like they are a profession, regardless if they are or not? Wouldn’t you want your children to learn how to act and react in a professional environment and learn the proper “professional” way of handling things in the theater? My second response is this, Mr Driscoll is a college professor and is a mentor to the young students of Words Players. As such, he should be aware of the current standards and practices in the theater world (which for decades have included not changing writers words without their permission, provided the writer’s works are not in the public domain.) As an educator, he SHOULD be held to a higher standard. Just because this is “art” doesn’t mean that there isn’t a professional behavior to be taught, and our main concern was that the next generation of theater creators (actors, writers, directors) were not being taught that. Surely you would want your business teacher to teach your children the proper way to do accounting, or build a computer or cook or whatever. Before you can bend the rules, before you can “break” the rules, you must learn the rules, I was always taught (and that there are some rules that shouldn’t be broken) and again, our concern, based upon this call, was that an unprofessional behavior would be taught.

I sincerely believe Mr Driscoll, North Words and Words Players have the very best intentions at heart. I do believe that they respect writers, but that respect isn’t reflected in the call for scripts that we saw (on your public website, and yes as I mentioned in my follow up comment above, it is a public website that anyone can access and does access. If you did not mean for this call to be spread, a simple “this submission opportunity is by invitation only” and would not be posted on your website OR you could have put, much like the Barnyard Players in Kansas City have done, “this submission is limited to people within 300 miles of Rochester, MN” or anything similar.) Writers have had the words abused, as I said, and almost every writer can attest to seeing it happen, or actor, or whatever. And in light of last years incidents with the transgender casting of Olenna without David Mamet’s permission and the incident with DGA president Doug Wright’s play, Hands On A Hard Body, and the rearranging of words, songs, scenes, etc without permisison and the arrogance displayed there (the director reportedly said “But you have to admit I made it better” to the writer) and in follow-up investigation on TUTS in Houston, I hope all of you can see why many writers are defensive and take up this cause as being quite personal. Words Players is not the first to have had this happen nor will it be the last. It was just a perfect combination of events, bloggers, and writers taking up a cause that was quite important to us. The continued silence on the issue, the deleting of posts criticizing the call for submissions (and I saw some of those that were deleted and they were not in any way “bulling” or “vulgar” or anything else.) fueled us on, encouraged us to make our voice heard louder and louder until the Dramatist’s Guild, Doug Wright, Playbill and Broadway World had no choice but to hear us. And at that point you did what you had to do.

I understand why Mr. Driscoll granted an exclusive with Playbill, but I would have loved to have seen him reach out to those that first started this call, particularly Donna Hoke and Howard Sherman.

I know this was long, and I appreciate anyone taking the time to read it and hopefully the critics of #playwrightrespect understand where we come from.

Reading their letter to the Dramatist Guild, I can sympathize. They describe a collective environment where writers, directors and actors helped each other. I love that style of theater. I love workshops, and I love that kids spearheded this.  My first couple of plays were done in the same guerrilla style “hey my dad has a barn, lets put on a play” style. Hell, directing Legally Blonde, I had no budget; props, costumes, set decoration came from actors closest, homes, or out of mine or my co-director’s pocket (and I wasn’t working much so that made it difficult). I understand where they are coming from, but that doesn’t make it any less right or wrong, how it was suggested it would be handled. There is growing up as a theater and growing out and then there is remaining stagnant. I hope this was simply a sign of growing pains.